Reason #1,047 Why Running a Service-Based Business Is Hard
Those of you who are familiar with the way we work will immediately recognize that this is satire. No one is on blast here, and we’re grateful for everyone who gets in touch with us and walks through the door at the workshop – but we do get to have a bit of a laugh from time to time at just how detached from reality some people are. It is not the customers job to know every single thing about a bike and give us perfect descriptions of problems, pitfalls and part numbers…..but boy do some folks fall very, very short of being able to give us any useful information!
Read on, and have a chuckle at my expense.
SITUATION #1: BEING GIVEN THE WRONG INFORMATION WITH ABSOLUTELY NO CONFIDENCE.
This is slightly paraphrased, but based on a real phone call I had today. Customer was enquiring about a service and what she could expect to pay, so my first question was ‘what make and model is it?’
C: “Oh, its a Giant, kind of downhill bike”
TLS: “Ah cool so it must be a Glory!”
C: “Wait….no. Yes, it’s a Giant. I don’t know”
TLS: -silence…-
C: “OH hang on MY bike is the Giant. This one is a Trek. A Trek Downhill bike”
TLS: “OK, cool, so that would be a Trek Session then?”
C: “Wait…..maybe. Uhhhh Jeez I should have checked before I called right?”
TLS: “…Yes”
C: “Ok, I just flew out to site today. I’m back in two weeks, I’ll call you on my days off”
TLS: “-silent rage-”
TLS: “Good stuff. Talk to you then, thanks”
Situation #2: What People Say vs The Actual Truth of the Matter
There is no such thing as a bike that has “been in storage for years and is in great condition”. The “storage” is usually a lamp post outside a pub deep in the Pilbara and “great condition” is simply a hopeful guess that under the layers of caked on red dirt and rust it may very well still be in great condition.
“I’m booking a service for a friend” – The friend most certainly doesn’t want the service. Now, to be fair, after having done this for 8 years I have discovered that there are 2, and only 2 legitimate reasons for this to a happen, and they’re both totally reasonable and fine. Every other reason involves someone who has recently lost their license or gained a lot of weight.
“It just needs a gear cable and a chain. Won’t take you more than 20 minutes” – The bike needs to go in the bin.
“My son fitted an electric conversion kit to it” – The bike needs to go in the bin.
“My housemate gave it to me” – The bike needs to go in the bin.
“It only needs to be safe for my son to ride to school” – It can’t be made safe for anyone to go anywhere.
“No, the bikes have never been to Rottnest” – The bikes just got back from Rottnest, and they need to go in the bin.
Situation #3: Group Wisdom and Mechanical Diagnosis
“The guys I ride with said my bottom bracket needs replacing” – It was actually the headset.
“The guys I ride with said my headset needs replacing” – It was actually the rear hub bearings
“The guys I ride with said my rear hub needs a service – It was actually the bottom bracket.
“The guys I ride with said my brake pads are noisy” – It was actually someone else’s brakes being noisy
This has been therapeutic for me. Like exhaling via the keyboard. I hope it makes a few people chuckle 🙂
Oh, and in case you’re wondering – the prompt for the AI generated image was ‘Confused Bicycle Mechanic’ using CoPilot. AI won’t be taking my job any time soon!
-TLS
